Jello Wrestling
I lean over, every breath heavy with anticipation.
We lock arms, as well as gazes.
My muscles tense, my back arches. I feel your shoulders do the same.
The taste of beer, pot, rum, cigarettes, and… jello is heavy on my breath.
Finally, a voice rises above the rest: “WRESTLE!”
Together, we explode at each other; each trying to get the upperhand.
My arms wrap around your neck, and your groan tells me I’m doing the right thing.
I twist you around, slamming your body into the slime.
Jello splashes in my eyes, temporarily blinding me.
Your grip on my torso tightens as I make my first attempt to pin your shoulders.
Impossibly slippery, you slither out of my hold and gather your strength.
Your lunge sends me sprawling back through the muck.
This time I find myself under your weight, dangerously exposed to loss.
There’s no way I’ll accept loss. Not to you.
Wrapping my leg around your flank, my trap is set.
In one deft move, I slip from your hold and twist around to your back.
Surprised and caught off guard, you hesitate. A fatal mistake on your part.
I slide my arms under yours and around the back of your head.
You desperately flail as your inevitable defeat sinks in.
Applying all of my weight, I press your face into the Jello.
The rhythm of our match dies as the count comes in: 1… 2… 3…
Your ass, along with your pride, go down!
My friends Nate and Jade threw a “Fuck Your Finals” Jello wrestling party Wednesday night: 6 kegs, hundreds of jello shots, gallons of jello, and one kiddie pool.I learned:
- Jello only burns a little, but tingles for hours when it gets in your eyes.
- Even after being hosed down, the gelatin forms a film on your skin, making every movement sticky and uncomfortable. Ah, it was fun times!
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